March 8, 2007

Today, I will make friends with the dying cancerous troll living in my basement. I will bring him cookies, wash his sores, and change his bedpan. When he cries out, I will be there to help soothe his anguish. And when he finally expires, I will hold his hand to aid him on his journey.

Then, I will cleave his head off with his battle axe, drink his blood, and take his belongings for my own. Perhaps I will do these things because this is how his "people" do things, or maybe it's just that he's got a Nintendo Wii and blood that tastes like candy.