August 31, 2007

Today, I will celebrate my 101st post by watching 102 Dalmations for the 103rd time.

August 30, 2007

Today I will find a man in a trashcan. I will name him Oscar. He will not get the joke, but will be grateful when I take him home.

August 29, 2007

Today, I will elect myself president of public restrooms and declare them off-limits to Republicans.

August 28, 2007

Today, I will realize that my goals are far too lofty.

August 26, 2007

Today, I will reflect that I did indeed deserve the day off yesterday after such a brilliant plan was hatched on Friday.

August 24, 2007

Today, I will make a condominium for prairie dogs consisting of cardboard boxes and hot wheels ramps.

August 23, 2007

Today I will speak to tongues in Latin and hope that they catch what I'm trying to say (I want to fuck them).

August 22, 2007

Today, I will kiss you in the smile.

August 21, 2007

Toay i will typea on as newww keybrd

August 20, 2007

Today I will file for separation from my lawyer. He's so good, I'm sure he'll get the car.

August 19, 2007

Today I will go to a nude beach and see Bigfoot without his feet on.

August 18, 2007

Today, I will go to the antiques road show with a hunk of finely aged cheese!

August 17, 2007

Today I will be attending something called LiveWire.

I hope it turns out better than when I attended something called "The Third Rail"

August 16, 2007

Today, I will remember why John Stewart is a wonderful, wonderful man.

August 15, 2007

Today, I will regret that an illness prevented me from posting yesterday. Sick day! It... doesn't count, right??? Right??? RIGHT???

August 13, 2007

Today, I will blog from a phone while waiting forever.

August 12, 2007

Today I will stick my fingers in my armpits and then sniff them, in order to determine if I remembered to apply deoderant. I will not have.

August 11, 2007

Today, I will watch Alien: Resurrection and wish they had just stopped at Aliens.

August 10, 2007

Today I will bake I cake, because I know you're coming and we're all very, very hungry.

August 9, 2007

Today, as I do every year, I will celebrate national Buck Henry day!

Buck Henry knows just how to have a day on his behalf! He celebrates by being in pictures!

August 8, 2007

Today, with hours to spare, I will watch the clock run down and at midnight, declare this day of Crazy Eights to be OVER!

August 7, 2007

Today I will play with my Go-bots in hopes that this action will inspire someone to tell their story on the silver screen. Optimus Prime can go transform himself.

August 6, 2007

Today, I will remember the Alamo and wonder what the hell that was all about.

August 5, 2007

Today, my brain will say "yes" but my heart will say "no" and I will spend most of my day trying to get each to agree to "maybe". When that is accomplished I will stab both of them.

August 4, 2007

Today I will chase away the ghouls with a stick covered in honey. (Ghouls hate honey and, oh yeah, also Baseball.)

August 3, 2007

Today, I will finally learn how to tie a bowline knot.

August 2, 2007

Today, I will celebrate this video by watching it forty nine times. I believe the music at the end is probably the funniest synchronization of music and moving pictures. Ever.

August 1, 2007

Today I will wake up from my long slumber and tell everyone that I will be posting every day this month (yes, even the weekends!).

I will also be changing the poll every week on Sundays.