Monday, May 7, 2007
May 7, 2007
Today, I will break into my own house and steal my computer, hack into my checking account, and purchase a mule. When the mule shows up, I will try to explain the concept of identity theft to it. The mule will not understand and I will attribute this to stubbornness.
Friday, May 4, 2007
May 4, 2007
Today, I will deep-fry my soul and tenderize my heart in preparation for the all-you-can-eat-of-me buffet that is the weekend.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
May 3, 2007
Today, I will solve the mystery of the disappearing bees. The answer: they're all on strike. Then I will call the ghost of President Calvin Coolidge to get these lazy red bees back to work!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
May 2, 2007
Today, I will celebrate dos-de-mayo by doubling the amount of mayonnaise I put on my sandwiches while shouting "MUCHO DE MAYO!"
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
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