May 14, 2007

Today, I will drive a Formula-1 race car so fast, it will, through the principles of Einstein's general theory of relativity, become a Formula-0.

May 11, 2007

Today, I will light up everyone's life. With a machete reflecting in the sun. Ooh! Lens flare!!!!

May 10, 2007

Today, I will give a speech about abortion, describing my position on the topic to everyone. My position: I am one. Thank you!

May 9, 2007

Today I will forget myself and become Robocop. I will hope that tomorrow never arrives.

May 8, 2007

Today, I will determine the worthiness of other people based on their attractiveness and call myself normal.